When women participate in the Find Your Voice programs, inevitably the question arises:
“What’s the hardest thing for you when it comes to standing behind your voice?”
Here’s a partial list of answers I’ve heard lately:
I have trouble finding my words
Believing that I don’t matter
Afraid my resources will be taken from me if I speak up
Shame and not feeling good enough
Believing in myself
Being unapologetically authentic
Standing up for my right to express my true authentic feelings
Lack of self-confidence
I want to speak my own inner voice
Fear of conflict
Fear of making someone angry
Listening to my own voice
Not saying what I want to say
Words get stuck
Can’t express my needs and wants
Don’t feel worthy to speak up
Being too much
I share this with you today to let you know you are not alone. Every woman has fears of speaking up, of being ‘unapologetically authentic’, of standing behind her voice. “What if my resources are taken away?” one person answered.
Recently in the U.S. we had a very famous politician resign due to allegations of workplace sexual harassment. I watched one of the women who spoke out and felt how terrifying it was for her to be working for someone so powerful and to be afraid to say anything because she didn’t want to lose her job.
As women we share a collective fear of being seen as powerful, not being taken seriously, not respected, and violated.
It’s easy to think of this as somehow a personal flaw. That if only we were better equipped psychologically, we could sail through every aspect of getting our voices into the world with a sense of our own authority, whether in our careers or in our relationships.
Here’s why it’s challenging, still — two thousand years of conditioning:
** The first recorded example of a man telling a woman to ‘shut up’, that her voice was not to be heard in public is in Homer’s Odyssey. Penelope’s son intervenes as she starts to speak up to her suitors. “Mother’, he says, ‘go back up into your quarters, and take up your own work, the loom and the distaff . . speech will be the business of men, all men, and of me most of all.” She goes back upstairs.
** “Sir, a woman’s preaching is like a dog’s walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.” ~ Samuel Johnson 18th century
I’m not going to list all the historical references to the disdain for hearing a woman’s voice in public. Not here. There are just too many to name. If you want some references for where to read more about this email me and I’m happy to send them to you.
Take a look at your individual experience now:
Which of the fears in our list above to you relate to? Perhaps not all the time, but sometimes? Perhaps you speak up fine at work but are more hesitant in your relationship. Or visa versa? Where do you hold back? Where do you silence yourself because you learned to go along to get along? Because you learned to smile? Because you learned to say yes when you mean no, and no when you mean yes?
Many of these internal silencers/beliefs you walk around with are unconscious.
When you are able to make them conscious, the magic begins to happen. Your fear drops away. Self-doubt is seen for what it is–something you were conditioned to feel to benefit someone else. We always need support to make the unconscious conscious. We can’t see our own ‘blind spots’.
Finding your Voice and standing behind it is the call of our times. Each woman matters to the collective empowerment and rising up of all of us. Your voice matters to the women in Afghanistan. Theirs matters to you. We are interconnected, literally.
The Find Your Voice Journey of Awakening is where Ancient Wisdom meets Feminism, Creativity, and Healing. You tap into the Portals you most need in order to heal, transform and manifest. I’ve spent decades developing the tools and practices that form the foundational Practice Portals of the journey.
My clients are creating coaching practices, writing books, building publishing houses, developing new paradigms for healing, doing the very hard work of healing past trauma, claiming their Heart’s Desire, and cultivating Spiritual Consciousness—all in the midst of their day-to-day life with its ups and downs— the global pandemic, the environmental disasters and political stress. Oh, and they are also experiencing new levels of JOY!
It’s my great pleasure to work with women in this capacity.
Opportunities now available to Find Your Voice and Stand Behind It
1) There are just TWO openings right now for the 4-month Find Your Voice 1:1 Mentorship. If you are ready for this level of commitment to yourself (you deserve it by the way) CLICK HERE to read about the program and if you are drawn to it, let me know. You can apply via the form on the website or email me as well to set up a free chat. There’s no obligation to enroll. Our chat is to see if it’s the best support for you at this time in your journey.
2) The Find Your Voice Women’s Club — I’m super excited to open the Club again in September! CLICK HERE to get on the early notification list and to see a sneak peek at what the Club offers. You’ll be hearing more about this real soon.
3) Come on over to our FREE Find Your Voice Facebook group.
We’re having some great discussions there and would love you to join us.
Finally, I’ll leave you with this beautiful statement:
“I want you to be everything that’s you, deep at the center of your being.”
I want this for you, too. Do you?
Share your thoughts!