We hear so much about ‘becoming’ all that you can be.  What if it’s also valid to realize that we must un-become all that isn’t us?

Yes, becoming is part of growing and realizing your Essence and expressing it.

Un-becoming, however, is a necessary part of becoming.

I call it “Letting go of the false self” — one of the Keys in the Find Your Voice Program. You can read about this program here.

No matter what we call it, there is always a letting go process involved as we grow.  We must let go of who we have been that no longer fits.  Un-become who we are not.

The reason this is not easy is because ‘who we are not’ is conditioned; it is what we call the wounded ego, the part of us created in order to keep us safe and to survive.  It is based on cultural, personal, inherited beliefs that may or may not align with your deepest heart’s desire.  Those that are not aligned create feelings of self-doubt, depression, anxiety, and other stress-based feelings.

Here’s an example of how an old belief doesn’t work:

Belief:  It’s not okay to disappoint people.  This usually comes from the need to control how other’s perceive us.  The need to be liked.  To be approved of.  It can also come from a direct experience in childhood when it seemed that you did disappoint someone important in your life and there was punishment or some other consequence.

As an adult, when we are contributing to life, to the world, when we are creating our fullest expressions of Self, is it useful to have that belief “it’s not okay to disappoint people?”

It would feel like a sort of straight-jacket wouldn’t it?  Thus, it creates inner conflict between our urge to express and the fear of disappointing people.

The old belief must be let go.  There are many pieces to the letting go process but the first piece is to slow down enough so that you realize the belief is there, that you realize there is something attempting to silence your truth and self-expression.

Look and see in your own life where you hold back, hesitate to share, feel as if your wisdom is second-rate, compare yourself to others—these are all strategies of the wounded ego to hide your Light.

Remember, you are here to express your Light–your essence, your imprisoned splendor.