The following two statements require contemplation. Contemplate each word until the statement begins to make sense to you personally.
The path to a transformed self involves dying to an old way of being and being reborn into a new way of being.
As Lao Tsu has written, “To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.”
Dying to who we are in order to step into who we want to be, who our heart calls us to be, is not easy and in fact can be scary. The ego or the part of us only concerned with survival, approval and conformity always tries to hold us back. Always.
Every human being resists the transformational moment. The work is to understand how this moment arises and how to be awake to your own inner saboteur without self-judgment yet with the power of your Presence.
Ways resistance shows up:
1) Conformity
I’ve seen wise and empowered women hesitate to put their voice into the world. “I don’t know enough yet.” “Everyone is doing this.” “I don’t know how.” “It’s not safe to be spiritual in a public way.”
I’ve seen wise, creative, empowered women struggle to communicate the simplest boundaries to others for fear of confrontation. We’ve ALL been trained to conform in very subtle ways, and without understanding your own personal patterns in this arena, you won’t be able to find your voice—not that ecstatic, true, fully expressed version of YOU!
So you retreat. You hesitate. You doubt. You take another course. You give up. You numb out. You distract yourself from feeling the deep grief of letting go of your old way of being.
2) Avoid feeling the deep grief
You might think that if you are consciously choosing to let go, to step into your larger Self then why would there be grief? Because you are letting go of something you knew quite well. You’re letting go of a place you were used to. Grieving this is essential to moving into the new experience of you. When you realize the place you are used to is not the place you belong, there is grief to be felt in order to consciously transition to the next highest version of you.
3) Fear of vulnerability
Moving from what you are used to to where you belong requires the willingness to be vulnerable. We all armor against vulnerability. But this armor also cuts you off from your creativity and your original wisdom and gifts you are here to give the world. What is your relationship to vulnerability? Can you feel your own armor against being vulnerable?
Some of the consequences of resisting your transformational moment:
Resisting the authentic expression of your own Spirit— what I call your VOICE— always results in shades of depression, anger, resignation, or a story about why you can’t or why you shouldn’t or why it’s not the right time or why you should be able to do it all by yourself.
It is this point in life —- when we know that we need to take a leap beyond who we presently are but we aren’t taking it — that usually requires some guidance from a mentor who understands the deeper path of transformation as opposed to the more airbrushed quick fixes available in the self-help global marketplace.
A client in my Find Your Voice program recently shared with me that she got into the self-help movement decades ago from a place of trying to fix herself, to get rid of things she didn’t like about herself. Her aha moment in our work was realizing that there is nothing to fix, only a true perspective of Self to understand. Then she said, “You’re the real deal.” It’s an honor for me to do the work I do. If you are ready to take your own transformation and self-expression to the next level, CLICK HERE to schedule a free Skype chat to explore the possibility working together.
